Somewhere in the last nine months I've changed. My values have changed. What's important to me has changed. It started without me even noticing. Once I caught on, it took me several months to adjust, but I think I've accepted it and you know what? I think I like it.
I've probably lived the last 10 years of my life only focusing on what's next. When I was in high school, all I worked for was to get to college. When I got to college, all I worked for was getting a job in TV news. When I got my first job, that was everything. My whole life was that job. I wanted to learn all I could, do all I could, work my way up. And I did. After two years of hard work, I got a job at a well-run, well-respected station. And suddenly, all at the same time, I felt like I had everything I ever wanted and no where to go.
That's when I, for the first time, started to notice my personal life. I realized what was important to me starting out on my first job was not quite as important as it once was. I found myself feeling melancholy that planning a family activity consisted of day trips and vacation days. When people asked me where I was from I wondered when I would have a city I could actually give as an answer, not where I live or where I grew up, but rather where I consider home.
They are endless thoughts that really get in the way of focusing. But through all that, I've realized how far I've come and how much talent I've gained. I am a solid reporter. I've gained skills not only from my education, but both my jobs, that I never imagined I would have. I can go into work and without even really trying, get through the day feeling impressed with my ability to get my job done well and efficiently.
I also realize, despite ignoring it, I've had a lot of fun along the way and gained a lot of invaluable relationships. Relationships that mean more to me than the people on the other end will ever know.
I still don't know what will happen from here, but every time I get concerned that I'm not coming up with an answer, I find satisfaction looking back and just how far I've come.
2 comments:
Jaimie, I'm glad to hear you're realizing and appreciating all your own hard work. You were the hardest working person I ever worked with. I'm glad we became good friends at 18. That's one thing I count among the very good things that happened to me in TV news. Keep in touch. I'm reading your blog now!!
Travis
Thanks Travis! You've inspired me to get back into blogging, so I've changed the URL to fit what's going on now. Hope it keeps you entertained! ;)
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